heart melting

Forgive me again, dear friends, for disappearing for more than a few days. Seems that my lot in life at the moment is to test drive all of the new viruses and bacteria on the market (I assure you that I didn't apply for this job...). Been flirting with a mysterious fever and fatigue for more than a week now, two rounds of antibiotics down and we're certain it's a virus. So...there's that.  Whaddyagonnado.

What I really want to write about in this post is something called 'melting your heart' or 'heart melting'. Most of us have used or heart the saying 'that melted my heart' in reference to something really sweet, or genuine, kind, beautiful, touching, moving....the list goes on and on. There is also a physical manifestation of this idea in Anusara Yoga, which is a very heart-oriented practice (in more ways than the physical). In a nutshell, this means to, first Open to Grace (say YES to the inside and the outside, be accepting and open to the divine) both soften and engage (always engage!) the muscles between the shoulder blades on the upper back, drawing arm bones back and shoulder blades onto the back body (representative of those that came before),  or as we say 'behind the heart'.  This motion is nearly always employed in back bending and inversions (Opening to Grace is the first step to EVERYTHING- there's something to chew on, eh? I've been gnawing on that one for years) and allows the body and mind to correctly align for the pose. Though important for the correct alignment of the body, this idea is also important for the alignment of the self with the divine- right from the heart and radically accepting of all.  Your heart is literally melting out of your body into the universe.  Essentially, to me at least, the idea of having my heart melted means that I am feeling such strong gratitude and love (because really, the two are firmly connected) that my heart is flowing out of my body and into the universe.  That I am firmly engaged, no aligned with, the gratitude and love I am, or intend to be, sending into the world and finding in the divine.

This week particularly has been a physical and spiritual lesson in melting my heart. First, and mostly because it's a short explanation of a long journey, the physical heart melting:

This motion has, by far, been the most difficult for me to bring back into my practice with serious intention (not just jamming my boobs toward the floor and squashing my shoulders up). The reason? Melting the heart is exceptionally painful, and nearly physically impossible, with a port in your chest. With a port in, your motion is restricted across the muscles of the chest (the damn thing felt like it was either going to pop out or rip my flesh). Not having done this for nearly five months, coupled with the drastic muscle loss I experienced, has made this one of my greatest projects in the rebuilding of my practice. Of course, there is more to yoga than the physical, no? A touch more on that later.

Secondly, and by no means is this actually second in importance (in fact, it's certainly first), the spiritual heart melting:

This past Tuesday, the incomparable faculty, staff, students, parents, community members of the district I work in, and grew up a student in, put on an amazing, generous, MIND BLOWING benefit concert in my honor and for the Life Organ Donor Association. Though I was not able to attend ('member that fever? no bueno around the little ones...or anyone for that matter), my friends in the music department filled me in on their plans in the months leading up to the event and then I waited with bated breath for P to come home that night and tell me all about it. All he could say was it was "A-MAZ-ING". Then the audio clips came...then the pictures...then the video which aired on the local access channel this weekend. OH. MY. GOD. There are no words. The only ones that I can come up with are love and gratitude(for this community and faculty,and especially students) and of course, humility. That this community came together for the assistance of P and I and our families and for the Life Organ Donor Association is AMAZING. In every sense of that word. I cried while listening to the audio of the kids, some of my students (current and past) lent their voices, all of the elementary school music faculty lent their teaching talents (and my god are they talented), the ensembles- jazz, strings and wind and their directors (again, incredible talent and generosity).  Listening to the stunning performances and knowing how much hard work went into teaching and learning those pieces, organizing the rehearsals, running rehearsals, coordinating transportation, setting up, not to mention the hard work on the part of the students, I was so filled with....I don't know what...the intense warm and fuzzies might start to explain it. Seeing their concentration and joy, hearing the comments by my colleagues and member of the administration, especially by one faculty member who donated his kidney to his sister...well, to say that I feel blessed would be a grande understatement. And oh, the tears when I spotted my kiddos, great job guys, I can't wait to singing with you in just a few short months. I miss you so, so much.

SO, I say thank you. 

Thank you to those who attended and donated, you have helped us ENORMOUSLY.

Thank you to those who planned and arranged and rehearsed and lent their efforts in so many ways to this event. Your selflessness and dedication is awe-inspiring. 

Thank you to the Administration for being so supportive of a program that is capable of such great things.

Thank you to the students (though I hope none of you are reading this blog...). You used your music, for many of you, your own hearts, to help another. I hope that you all have long, fulfilling and music-filled careers and happy, healthy lives. 

My heart truly melted this week. During my (admittedly limited- yoga can get swirly with a fever) practice this week, I struggled still with melting my heart. Then I thought about Tuesday night and it was like the thing just dripped out of me. Perfect? Nope. Dunno if it ever will be. BUT it was an honest and intention-filled motion and THAT felt like I was really connected. Sending out my gooey, warm love to every soul there that night. While practicing harmonium, which is an instrument that is exceptionally easy to get swept up in, I thought of them, humbled myself and melted. 

I am blessed to know and be part of a community in the district and public that has such a generous and loving spirit, both in my hometown and in my kula. Thank you.

So much love. So much. 


P.S. Today would have been Olivia's 13th birthday (I posted about her a little while ago).   You've been on my mind and heart today, as has your family. Bet you're enjoying the best red velvet cake ever right now:) Happy Birthday, sweet girl.

oops! dissapeared under my covers, sorry 'bout that

Wow, has it really been two week since I last wrote? Yikes, sorry y'all:(

I wish that I could say that my absence was entirely because I was off living life like a normal person (ya know, without a mask...or track marks from draws and infusions) but that would be a big fat lie.

The last two week have been filled with deep lows and soaring highs. I'll give a brief blow-by-blow and then elaborate in my next post.

So, yeah, had a bad reaction to IVIG (yuck) and then promptly came down with my very own cold, baby's first cold, no? Turns out that when you have a very weak immune system, the common cold sucks extra hard. BUT! My inner hippy read somewhere that if I cut out refined sugars and caffeine, that my body could heal a little faster (**note: I am not a medical professional, please don't listen to anything I suggest, I'm just a little nuts**). Damned if that didn't work! (oh, and the sleeping for 18 hours a day probably helped me along too, who has the luxury of time to be able to do that? Yeah, NO ONE).

Anyway, it seems that I willed myself well in time for my very first harmonium lesson with my friend and teacher Justicia and the astonishingly talented Victoria Ladd (more on THAT new endeavor in another post). It was glorious. Road that good energy to dinner for my dearest Maggie for her birthday. A good time was had by all until the dinner came back to haunt me for the next 24 hours. Seems that sensitivity to germs extends to food as well...hard lesson learned. YUCK. The good thing about food poisoning though, is that it generally passes rather quickly, which this did. So, Maggie and I went on a 6 mile hike on Sunday. I wasn't kidding when I said highs and lows, eh?

What did I learn from this? Well, I learned that I need to find my balance. It is not hastening my healing by going from extreme to extreme. Yes, working out is good, but is most beneficial when the body is well, not healing from a traumatic illness the day before. Then more strain is put on the body and you're bound for disaster. A stubborn nature has benefited my in the past, but now is not the time. This body needs to be coddled, something I still have not gotten the hang of. I felt the acute effects of that drastic swing in yoga on Tuesday (yes, was still smarting in my hips on Tuesday) and spent a good amount of class meditating on how it isn't respectful of me to treat this body, that has carried me through so much, in such a way. The name of the game is listening intently to myself and my signals and giving permission to rest. This body is truly a blessed vehicle, that has received the ultimate gift, I must treat it with respect and tune in more carefully. Matter over mind, sometimes is correct.

So, rest I did. That is until, and no, seriously, I swear to you this happened, I began throwing up everything I put in my body. BODY SAYS NO! Yeah, awesome, right? Thursday morning I gave myself my weekly neupogen shot, just to keep my numbers stable, and within three hours I was violently ill. And I type the work violently in the most firm way. I haven't been ill like that since chemo. That sobbing kind of ill that just simple scares and exhausts you. This continued all day Thursday, no meds,  no water, no gatorade, no crackers, NOTHING would stay in my tummy. I was severely dehydrated and terrified. After emptying myself (sorry, trying not to be so gross) for the sixth time, I paged my doctor, who assured my that it was not the neupogen (thank god, NOT something I wish to look forward to every week) but rather a virus, which basically scared the fucking bananas out of me. She said if I became ill one more time, I needed to be in the ER as soon as possible. Righto.  If not in the ER tonight than certainly in infusion the next day for fluids and anti-emetics.

So, I curled up on the couch (it's close to our bathroom with no risk of taking (another) tumble down the steps from our bedroom) and prayed to all things holy that I wouldn't toss my cookies again. Thanks all things holy, I didn't. P drove me up to PENN first thing in the morning, me looking like quite a sight in my darn PJs and rumpled frizz stuffed into a cat hair covered bandanna, and got my bag o'fluids and bag o'zofran all the while blissfully snoozing in their OH SO COMFORTABLE infusion beds. While I can't say that I felt like a million bucks after that, I did not feel like I was going to vomit up my ribcage any longer. I was so dehydrated that the nurse had significant trouble finding a vein and I ended up all bruised. Also, I was given strict orders NOT to eat ANYTHING other than crackers and drink nothing but slightly watered down Gatorade and flat soda. NO WATER until at least Saturday. BTW, did you know that when you have a stomach bug, water is the worst thing you can drink- it's so thin that you are sure to yack it up, making you more dehydrated. Fun fact. Wish I never needed to know that. The eight pound (not kidding) weight loss scared me. My muscles hurt from the electrolyte imbalance. This was just all sorts of bad.

The other thing is, and I sort of mentioned this, 'organic' nausea and vomiting (like your run-of-the-mill stomach virus feels very different from the 'chemical' nausea and vomiting, like chemo. With chemo and medication induced nausea and vomiting, you can kind of power through. You know what its from, it has a very distinct reactionary feeling and maybe just one dose of an enti-emetic will do the trick. When the nausea is organic, from a bug, it's wily. Anti-emetics may or may not help, it;s constant with out any way to predict vomiting. My doctor said that to try to get me through this, I need zofran and ativan (whoo-hoooo sleepy Laura time) on a very strict schedule. If you miss that window, you're gonna yam. And yam I did. It's so gross, I know, I'm sorry, but after a weird 3 am spell early this morning, I feel ehhhhhh fine. Still can't eat much, but I can hold down my pills and a liquid and some ::ahem:: cookies. When I had chemo nausea, I could eat as long as the anti-emetics were working, and they pumped those into me constantly to try to keep me from getting ill. I rainbow yawned anyway (which was like having toxic waste come out of my body, so weird) but nothing like a virus. I"ll be honst and say I've not had a stomach virus since I was a child so I have no memory, really, of what these things are like without that nasty compromised immune system. Sooooooo, there's my paragraph on vomit.

While it really sucks to have spent the bulk of the last two weeks really sick, at least I know that my body is able to heal me. That I was not hospitalized, that my white cells are a'workin'. The hubs? Totally traumatized for life after the cats also started puking ON the toilet. Monkey see, monkey do? They've been standing guard with me in the restroom when I get ill, guess it happened enough they gave it a go themselves. Not the example I would like to set for those little nuts. My dear, sweet P, such a good sport about the cat puke cleanup just so I could go in and puke too. That's love kids.

To those that have sent e-mails or phone calls or texts that I may not have responded to, I am profoundly sorry. Please know that I was not ignoring you, I just couldn't lift my head but to puke:(
Anyway, I have some amazing news to share, which I suppose I may as well share here than wait for another post (plus, don't you just hate that?):

Wanna know what??

I got a preliminary acceptance this week to go with www.firstdescents.org to Colorado at the end of this May to learn how to rock climb on a damn mountain with a group of other patients and survivors! How cool is that?! This application has been hanging in the balance for...uh....a long time (I was still in TX when I started it) and I NEVER expected to be accepted, but I'll be damned if they didn't accept me! My final go-ahead will come just before I leave to be positive that I will be safe. My medical team has already given me the go-ahead, I just havfta stay fit and healthy for the next 8 weeks and I'm off! This program is amazing and I am so honored to be part of it:) I encourage you to check out their website and blog to learn a little more about what they do and who they are. They are inspirational.

Much love to my friends here and those reading. It's amazing to see how many of you come from the far reaches of the world to check in. Much love to all of you, always gratitude to you for sharing in this gruesome journey with me and many prayers to any who are fighting their own fight.

Much Much LOVE.

ugh.

 Early this morning (7:30 am, not a morning person) I got an infusion of IVIg because my labs at MDA two weeks ago showed my levels were low. In a nut shell this means that I have low levels of  immunity in addition to struggling to keep my WBC up.

If you remember, sometime in November I got an infusion of this drug (? I don't know what to call it, it's actually sort of a synthetic blood product), with very little fan fair. The first half of the process was basically the same today, until...well, I'll get there. It went a little something like this:

(BTW: PENN's new Perelman Center for Advanced Medicine has nicer infusion rooms than MDA. Big windows in every room looking out over the city, big comfy recliners and televisions that work.  Just sayin'.) 

Insert peripheral line in my wrist (because I DON'T HAVE A PORT!). Draw labs.  Premeds of Tylenol and Benedryl, which knock me out. Start IV.

Yeah, well.

Apparently IVIg can cause nausea and vomiting. Who knew.

About 45 minutes into the infusion I had that sensation. You know the one. Like, "Am I hungry or am I going to yam?". So, unwilling to potentially puke in my infusion room or on myself, I stumbled down the hall into the restroom (which looked EXACTLY like the ones at MDA, very freaky), and....well, you know the rest. Afterward, I alerted my nurse and was totally impressed with the absolutely rapid response from three different nurses and two nursing assistants. My infusion was stopped, the Dr. was paged, fluids started. They even gave me a toothbrush.  Dr. Porter ordered Zofran and an hour later the IV was started at a slower pace, which meant that instead of being done at noon as scheduled, I was done after 3pm.  Oh, because I'm an over sharer like this, when the nurse removed my IV, I squirted blood everywhere. A year ago this would have totally freaked me out. Now? I was impressed at the distance I managed, shoulda measured it. The nurse didn't even notice.

Seems I've forgotten how absolutely tiring these infusion days can be because, when P got me home, I passed out in bed until an hour or so ago. As I type this, I am beginning to nod off again.

Good news? This kind of stuff is worth it because it keeps me healthy. Which is a good thing at the moment because I'm starting to feel like I've caught P's cold...Come on WBC (8.8 today...woo!)!!!! Go! GO! GOOO! Mamma's got a harmonium lesson at the end of the week (!!!:)!!!!).

Anyway, the most important thing about today is that it is my girl Maggie's Birthday. So,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAGGIE!

Thank you for always being an amazing friend. You are such a bright, bright light.  Hope you had a WONDERFUL day, you've made so many of mine so. Love you girl:)

Much love:)

Pictures and Pain (or iPhones are extremely useful)

For your visual enjoyment, here are some pictures from Houston and the last few days courtesy of my iPhone.

Rodeo, YO.

We caught the last half-hour or so before the concert. There were 8 year old kids competing to see who could hold onto a charging lamb the longest. Pure Awesome.

Sarah D., P and I (yes those are Mardi Gras beads). Sarah is responsible for properly outfitting me in a hat, belt buckle and reminded me to bring my cowboy boots. P has some great pictures on his phone of Keith Urban, gonna need to get those from him:)

 

 

This may not look that bad in photo form, however, I assure you that this SHOULD NOT look like, or feel like, this after a simple blood draw. Believe it our not, I still have 'good' veins, which are no match for a bad phlebotomist. 

 

 

 

 Neupogen Nonsense

Yo, neup: thank you for being so darn useful in keeping me healthy but a big screw you for making me feel like I've been hit by a truck. :-)

Warming the chilly syringe. Yes, please admire my nails.

Yowch, yeah it's actually not that bad, the needle is pretty small. OH, and what is that I see? Some muscle forming on my shoulder again? mmmmhmmmm

So my poor, sweet hubband earned himself a nasty sinus infection from the flights to and from Houston. Because I have...uh...NO immune system, and I married a damn stand up man, these have been our sleeping arrangements since Friday night.

At least the inflatable mattress FITS and is kinda comfortable. Doesn't he just rock?

Yesterday ended up being a bit of a clusterfuck after I received a phone call from PENN in the morning (as I was heading out the door for yoga, no less) informing me that my WBC had dropped again to 0.7 and my ANC was UNDER 100. Hit the panic button.....NOW. I needed another shot of Neupogen, and would likely need one every day this week, all I had to do was get to the clinic. Right.

Many of you may not know this, it's always surprising to those who don't know, but, I do not have a driver's license. Maybe someday I'll explain why not, but at the moment it doesn't matter because I wouldn't be allowed to drive anyway thanks to some of the heavier meds I take. SOOOOO this means that in a last-minute situation, I have to call everyone on my contact list to find a ride. This, though rare, is both embarrassing and frustrating. My Dad ended up leaving work to take me, which I enjoyed because I don't get to spend one-on-one time with him often, and I got my shot. I made it ::ahem:: clear that daily trips to PENN this week would be exceptionally burdensome to my friends and family due to the short notice. The solution? I was given pre-filled syringes to administer to myself at home (hey, that injectables training during IVF last year has really come in handy!).

As I mentioned in my last post, the neup can cause bone pain, fatigue and headache (flu-like symptoms). Somehow I managed to forget what that feels like (probably because the last few times I have required this drug, I've otherwise been very VERY ill), so the last few days have been exceptionally uncomfortable. Last night, with my sternum and pelvic bone both pulsing in pain in time with my heart beat, I graduated from uncomfortable to goddamn SCARY. After hours of tossing and turning, worrying if there was something wrong with my heart or something, I busted out the Google machine and was reassured that this sensation is common. The pelvic bone, particularly in the back on the illiac crests and the sternum, are bone marrow producing powerhouses in the human body. Hence the excruciating pain.

Some time around 5 am,  I begged P to come rub my back and he reminded me that I could try a Motrin to help with the pain. Uh, duh. After more than two years of Motrin etc. being forbidden, I often forget that I may use small doses now (because I have platelets STRONG LIKE BULL). Darn it if that didn't do the trick (a Xanax helped immeasurably too- P knows me too well, pain=panic for me). Today, though feeling a tad sluggish, I feel a bit better. Somewhere around 3 this afternoon I gave myself my next shot and here's hoping that each shot becomes easier. I feel the throbbing in my back, but I'm ready to deal with it!

You know what helps? This:

When I came home on Tuesday I was already feeling crappy. This one snuggled herself up against me. She's been glued to me today as well, even waking me this morning with sandpaper kitty kisses. What a cutie (just wish she didn't snore so much!).

Something I forgot to add when I wrote about the results from the testing in Houston is that I am now officially on an itty-bitty dose of steroid! 4 mg EVERY OTHER DAY! P looked at me a little while ago and said "your face is skinnier already". Thanks babe:) In many other relationships that could have earned a smack, he got a smooch for that one.

Thank you, dear friends and readers for sticking around and also for your messages on my last post. I am so grateful to all of you for your uplifting words and for making me feel a little less alone.

Much Love (and a Happy St. Patrick's Day! Someone have an Irish Car Bomb for me, eh? None of that green beer nonsense ;) )

ouch.

Neupogen shots, though ever so useful in keeping me from getting a horrible infection, cause my body to explode in pain. Seems I forgot about this little detail. The last time I had one of these I was so banged up on other poisons and a rawkin' fever that I didn't know up from down.

Typing this hurts. Thank the great spaghetti monster that this will only last another day at most. Saturday night I had the worst headache I've had since...well the last time I had a Neupogen shot. Friday my pelvis was on fire and I almost puked in Suburban Square, in front of the GAP and my good friend Karen. Right now my muscles are aching like I ran a marathon.

I have a post half-written detailing all of the cool things that happened in Houston. Will post when my nerve endings calm the fuck down.

Quick Update

Aaaaannnddd we're home and given the atrocious weather here in Philly, at a sane time.

I will give a quick update tonight but am excited to share some awesome pictures from the last few days.

The rundown:

My white blood cells don't exist, or very very barely exist. Thus, I have been taken off of one of my drugs (valcyte, if anyone cares), switched to valtrex ( NO, I don't have the herp, it covers viruses. jeez). I also get a Neupogen shot 'for the road'. It hurt like hell, I feel a little flu-ish and have some bone pain to potentially look forward to, BUT , how cool is it that ONE shot can just ::BAM:: fix my WBC? So cool. Science is cool.

I am officially O Negative. My donor's blood type. That, my dear friends, is some majorly amazing shit.


Tomorrow I'll upload our pictures from the Rodeo and my Neupogen shot (because I think it's COOL) and share some other stuff. Thanks for continuing to read, whoever still does. Writing here and having a forum to share this journey is some of the best medicine. Thank you friends:)

Much (soggy) love y'all:)

Ashes

Today is Ash Wednesday, well, at least it still is in the Central Time zone.  Ash Wednesday, having grown up Roman Catholic, is one of the few holy days that I have nearly always observed. I can count on one hand the number of times I haven't received my ashes and maybe attended mass on this day. Today, P and I both recieved ashes at the chapel at MD Anderson.

As I have mentioned before, I have a very complicated spiritual life, one which I don't fully understand and one which evolves and changes. This is not to say that I am lazy in my spiritual beliefs, I feel strongly spiritual, however I do not, or have not yet, found a doctrine or organized religion that completely satisfies my needs. Though I do not identify completely as a Catholic, or completely with any single religion, there are a few staples, completely unrelated to doctrine of any sort: yes, I do believe there is something greater than we, a something that has no defined form but can be called by various names, God/ the Universe, even various gods, goddesses and saints (which I view as good and desirable traits or even needs, personified) are often where I go. I also believe that there is a life after death. Is that a clouded, blue heaven? I don't know. That image is comforting. Does it mean that those we lose are with us in some breathe of air or tingle down the spine. I still don't know, but that image too is comforting. Maybe we even just become absorbed back into the energetic fabric of the Universe and our real life after death is that we live on in the impressions, the ripples, we make during our living days.  If we are horrible to others, do we go to a blazing inferno? No idea, kinda scary, or is there even a punative nature to the universe? I believe that we are given the gift of both free will and the consequence of a conscience. That goodness is in all of us. That bad things happen because, well, bad things happen. Chaos and order rule our movements and that we are all, beyond a shadow of a doubt, connected.

Why do I say all of this? Well, coming back down here dropped me square in the middle of the dark nightmares that have haunted my nights for the last three months. I am reminded of my fears in a very real way. I am also reminded how god damn mother fucking LUCKY I am to be alive. And doing so bloody well. This is the ultimate reality check. Yo, Laur, you can sit on the floor of your bedroom, crying your eyes out with two very concerned cats, because you gain a couple of pounds from the steriods and your stupid jeans don't fit correctly. OR you can look at and REALLY reflect on how trivial that meltdown is compared to the tears being shed by other patients here. Other friends. Nothing like coming to a cancer center to get a better perspective on life, no? I'll answer that for you: no. Except maybe if you visited as some of our armed forces say goodbye to their families before being sent for war. That's a damn good example as well.

At any rate, receiving my ashes today, hearing those words "from ash we came and to ash we shall return" and wearing that symbol of remembered mortality, felt correct. Felt healing. This is divine and temporary. It can be very easy to spiral upwards into  the 'rah rah cancer survivor/warrior/battle' mentality. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for a little cancer war (been there, NOT going back), but a reminder, a grounding, reminder of humility and humanity was...well, perfect.

Aside from my ramble on ashes and my spiritual voodoo, my testing today went well.
7:30 am (yeauuuuggghhhhhhh) Bone Density Scan: apparently I have exceptionally strong bones, which is highly shocking considering how hard these doctors have tried to bust 'em up (chemo, sterioids, etc)
9 am blood draw: 13 vials. 'nuff said
10 am Pulmonary Function Test: not a damn change in that 'Hospital Pranayama Test' since last May. I got's me some big ole honkin' lungs

Ashes and a prayer

NAAAAAAPPPTIIIMMMEEEEEE

1:30 Survivorship Nurse: made me wait 2 hours (in the meantime I had a real panic attack in the waiting area listening to the horrors of another patient, I had to excuse myself, take a pill and return to the opposite side of the room), then pretended like she had been looking for me. I was sitting in front of the access doors the whole time. MMkay. In a nutshell: my PTSD-like feelings are quite common keep handling it as I have but don't be afraid to ask for more assistance if I'm really losing it, I need to see an OBGYN about my ::ahem:: fucking menopause, aaand I got a shiny new booklet on how to eat like a normal human (i.e. did you know they have this thing called a food pyramid?! that fruits and veggies are GOOD for me? seriously?).

P and I just returned from dinner with my dear, dear friend Sarah Doyle and her family. Sarah has been such a light in this journey, I am so proud to call her friend. We went to Rodeo Houston last night, my lord I can't wait to post pictures. There were belt buckles and hats a'flyin:)

Well, dear friends, or those of you who didn't jump-ship as soon as I started babbling about religion, thank you for the support these last few days. I can't wait to blow this taco truck and head on home tomorrow night, but not after checking in with Dr. De Lima first!

Anyway, much love y'all

Wa