Friday, December 10, 2010

Battle Wounds, Bubble Baths and Saying Goodbye

Battle Wounds. I quite like the cancer patient trend of referring to their various scars and markings as 'battle wounds', they certainly are, aren't they? Earned through incredible trial and worn with pride. Here are my battle wounds:

 Removing the dressing to reveal this was much more emotional than I anticipated. This is a two inch by two inch piece of flesh on a prominent spot on my body, which I have not laid eyes on in four months, but which has ruled so much of my life. Weird. Anyway, Phil says it looks like some Star Wars battle ship or something I say it looks like it's time for a bubble bath.

Ahhh bubble baths. My favorite girly indulgence. A few weeks ago I stopped at Lush (if you don't know about Lush, RUN THERE NOW, friggin' awesome stuff) to pick up a 'bubble bar' (solid bubble bath) in anticipation of having my CVC out. MMMMM orange oil scented santa head:

This little dude got tossed right in that big ol' bathtub, and yes, I lit some damn candles (Gotta work the romance...or something). Then I snuggled in for the first proper bath in a third of a year...followed by a rinse down in a proper shower. Having not felt water running on my face and chest since having the CVC placed, the sensation was....exquisite. It's the small things, no? I want to say that I will not take the feeling of a shower or bath for granted ever again, but I think that would be a lie. I hope to be able to feel so normal someday that I DO take that kind of thing for granted. Or not. 

Yesterday afternoon, after my final appointment with Dr. de Lima (who was surprisingly emotional, I'm telling you this guy is a great guy), P and I stopped up in the hospital to say goodbye to my friend Sarah. This was so emotional, I think for both Sarah and I (though I won't speak for her), especially because we both had to wear masks and gloves and weren't able to give each other a proper hug (Sarah is fighting viral pnumonia at the moment- and feeling really crappy). Getting to know Sarah here has been a blessing in so many ways: having someone my age to really talk to and open up to about all of those "they never told me" things, someone to laugh with, someone who I am confident would have been a friend, cancer or not. She's awesome and I'm really going to miss her, though through advances in modern technology (skype!! iPhone! facebook!) we can keep in contact until March when P and I will be back down here. To Sarah, if you read this: Air HUG!!!! :)

So, I must stop typing now and scamper off to zip suitcases, turn in our keys and head to the airport! Thanks Houston, for being the place where my life was saved, but I need to get back to my heart now. 

To my friends: thank you for the joyful messages over the last few days, my heart is bursting to see you! Slowly and over time, but see you non-the-less. 

For the last time from Houston: 


  1. YEAH! I knew the second I saw the pic that it was out! Prayers of continued healing are being sent! See you soon.
    Mary Lou