Gratitude

Gratitude is a powerful and humbling emotion. Necessary. Imperative even.

Today, I experienced gratitude at a level and in such intensity I was taken to my knees. Only once before have I felt this, and that experience was so personal and intense that I have chosen to keep it in my heart, because I lack the words to say what that experience meant. May this serve as an open note of gratitude (which is woefully inadequate). 

To those who have held P and I in the palms of your hearts:

Please forgive me for being unable to speak aloud my gratitude.  It was a selfish fear that if I opened my mouth to speak, took a breath even, that I would spill my heart onto the floor and never be able to tell you how full I am. You have said words that are burned into my soul. You have written words that will be kept for a lifetime. You have treated someone you have only known for a few weeks, or a few months, or a few years as if you have known them for a lifetime. You have given in ways that are beyond the description of generous: someone should write a thesaurus for the emotions of a cancer patient. "Into every life, a little rain must fall", you have been my umbrella, my lifeboat, even my water wings (you know, those floaty things) on days when you sensed I needed some silliness. To those who have stood by for years, before cancer, and after, you are the soil in which I stay my roots. You nourish, you sustain, you are rich of heart and your friendship is golden. To my family. How do I say thank you for giving me life and for being so constant in your support and love? I cannot. Nothing I could ever say, write, post on the internet could ever fully express how grateful I am for you, for all of you, for what you have done, for what you have given, for your support and love.

Thank you. From the depths of my heart. Thank you.

May I have the opportunity to repay you someday.