UPDATE: I FIGURED IT OUT AND SUBMITTED. zomgicantwait.
If you are looking for a post with substance, this ain't it. But it is a post of awesome, so there's that.
I just ordered THIS (yes, it's a thing and yes it's real and yes it's amazing) and it may be the best $5 I've ever spent. Ever. Word to the wise: this is what happens when you spend excessive time alone, drugged up and on the internet. You have been warned (or encouraged).
BUT WHAT SHOULD I ASK HIM TO WRITE???
OMG please help me. This is something which will be cherished forever and ever. And obviously posted here.
This is so MUCH LOVE