OK, so I had a whole post in mind about a really freaking cool experience I had last night at the Krishna Das kirtan concert with mah yoga friends....BUT...something happened today that has moved me instead to post a little cancer-PSA. Please forgive me for this little foray into negativity...this just bugged me enough to share. (I really will post about Krishan Das, pretty-pretty-promise, 'cause, you know, you care). Now, on to my grump-fest.
Laura's recommendations for what NOT to say to a cancer patient:
1. "My aunt/mom/friend/cousin/neighbor/someone I barely know DIED from cancer! It was really horrible...(insert horrifying story here)". (I am not a violent person, but this one makes me want to do violent things).
2. "Well, you look good." (really? thanks? what should I look like? what does bone pain, nausea, migraine-like headaches and depression look like? this? oh, cool. I guess I'm alright then.)**sometimes this is a pretty awesome thing to say, just not after you ask how I feel and I say something resembling 'shitty'**
3. "(person's name here)'s cancer was way worse than yours." (yes, someone really said that to me. twice.)
4. "You're too young for cancer." (I always was an overachiever?)
5. "I can't catch it, right?" (um, no. you can't catch my DNA. though I have been tempted to scream YES!! and make 'boogie boogie boogie' noises while chasing the person away)
6. "Well, oh well, you (I) can't do anything about it, can you (I)." (I guess I'll just curl up and die then.)
Whew. I understand and appreciate how hard it can be to be the person on the other side of the 'I have cancer' conversation. It's not easy and I've been there, long before I was a patient myself. Some of those things came out of my stupid mouth (mostly #2). For any feelings I hurt, I am sorry (so, so sorry). But please, pause and think before you start flapping your jaws to someone, not just cancer patients, but anyone going through a rough time. Words sting and the impressions you make with your words last.
Thanks for putting up with my griping. Back to love and light:)