Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Pictures and Pain (or iPhones are extremely useful)

For your visual enjoyment, here are some pictures from Houston and the last few days courtesy of my iPhone.

Rodeo, YO.
We caught the last half-hour or so before the concert. There were 8 year old kids competing to see who could hold onto a charging lamb the longest. Pure Awesome.

Sarah D., P and I (yes those are Mardi Gras beads). Sarah is responsible for properly outfitting me in a hat, belt buckle and reminded me to bring my cowboy boots. P has some great pictures on his phone of Keith Urban, gonna need to get those from him:)  
This may not look that bad in photo form, however, I assure you that this SHOULD NOT look like, or feel like, this after a simple blood draw. Believe it our not, I still have 'good' veins, which are no match for a bad phlebotomist.    

 Neupogen Nonsense

Yo, neup: thank you for being so darn useful in keeping me healthy but a big screw you for making me feel like I've been hit by a truck. :-)

Warming the chilly syringe. Yes, please admire my nails.
Yowch, yeah it's actually not that bad, the needle is pretty small. OH, and what is that I see? Some muscle forming on my shoulder again? mmmmhmmmm
So my poor, sweet hubband earned himself a nasty sinus infection from the flights to and from Houston. Because I have...uh...NO immune system, and I married a damn stand up man, these have been our sleeping arrangements since Friday night.
At least the inflatable mattress FITS and is kinda comfortable. Doesn't he just rock?

Yesterday ended up being a bit of a clusterfuck after I received a phone call from PENN in the morning (as I was heading out the door for yoga, no less) informing me that my WBC had dropped again to 0.7 and my ANC was UNDER 100. Hit the panic button.....NOW. I needed another shot of Neupogen, and would likely need one every day this week, all I had to do was get to the clinic. Right.

Many of you may not know this, it's always surprising to those who don't know, but, I do not have a driver's license. Maybe someday I'll explain why not, but at the moment it doesn't matter because I wouldn't be allowed to drive anyway thanks to some of the heavier meds I take. SOOOOO this means that in a last-minute situation, I have to call everyone on my contact list to find a ride. This, though rare, is both embarrassing and frustrating. My Dad ended up leaving work to take me, which I enjoyed because I don't get to spend one-on-one time with him often, and I got my shot. I made it ::ahem:: clear that daily trips to PENN this week would be exceptionally burdensome to my friends and family due to the short notice. The solution? I was given pre-filled syringes to administer to myself at home (hey, that injectables training during IVF last year has really come in handy!).

As I mentioned in my last post, the neup can cause bone pain, fatigue and headache (flu-like symptoms). Somehow I managed to forget what that feels like (probably because the last few times I have required this drug, I've otherwise been very VERY ill), so the last few days have been exceptionally uncomfortable. Last night, with my sternum and pelvic bone both pulsing in pain in time with my heart beat, I graduated from uncomfortable to goddamn SCARY. After hours of tossing and turning, worrying if there was something wrong with my heart or something, I busted out the Google machine and was reassured that this sensation is common. The pelvic bone, particularly in the back on the illiac crests and the sternum, are bone marrow producing powerhouses in the human body. Hence the excruciating pain.

Some time around 5 am,  I begged P to come rub my back and he reminded me that I could try a Motrin to help with the pain. Uh, duh. After more than two years of Motrin etc. being forbidden, I often forget that I may use small doses now (because I have platelets STRONG LIKE BULL). Darn it if that didn't do the trick (a Xanax helped immeasurably too- P knows me too well, pain=panic for me). Today, though feeling a tad sluggish, I feel a bit better. Somewhere around 3 this afternoon I gave myself my next shot and here's hoping that each shot becomes easier. I feel the throbbing in my back, but I'm ready to deal with it!

You know what helps? This:
When I came home on Tuesday I was already feeling crappy. This one snuggled herself up against me. She's been glued to me today as well, even waking me this morning with sandpaper kitty kisses. What a cutie (just wish she didn't snore so much!).
Something I forgot to add when I wrote about the results from the testing in Houston is that I am now officially on an itty-bitty dose of steroid! 4 mg EVERY OTHER DAY! P looked at me a little while ago and said "your face is skinnier already". Thanks babe:) In many other relationships that could have earned a smack, he got a smooch for that one.

Thank you, dear friends and readers for sticking around and also for your messages on my last post. I am so grateful to all of you for your uplifting words and for making me feel a little less alone.

Much Love (and a Happy St. Patrick's Day! Someone have an Irish Car Bomb for me, eh? None of that green beer nonsense ;) )


  1. hello lovie. it was SO nice to talk to you yesterday. i hope that the pain lessens each day. your nail polish above is lovely. def send me a pic of your blue toes :). sending you lots of love on this springy day in chi town. muchos besos.

  2. Love that face of yours - chubby cheeks and all!! I don't do Irish Car Bombs, but I'll have a shot or two of Jamieson's for you. SLAINTE' sweet friend. xoxo CAL

  3. How the damn hell do you pull this all off?? Have I told you lately how much I admire you? I was with you last Friday, only one week ago, and I totally thought I understood most of what was happening, but you managed to entertain ME, make me laugh, show me the polish LOVE, and just generally be a sweetheart, .... i would have hugged you a little harder had I known all of this. You know you rock, but I'm gonna keep telling you publically.