Sunday, October 3, 2010

Betty White needs to step off

Betty White is ruining my night's sleep. Seriously, I'm ready to cut a bitch. She is haunting my dreams and it's really creeping me out. She just keeps showing up and talking about my 'diabeetus testing supplies' (you know, like the commercial with that guy) and always around 4 ish in the morning, and fucking up my night. I don't know if this phenomenon is due to the copious number of pills and injections I'm pummeling my body with now (30 + pills and four shots of insulin...and that whole new immune system thing) or if it's some momentary weirdness that will pass as I get more comfortable with obsessing over my blood sugar. Or if Betty White just really hates me.

No idea. It's fucking strange.

Last night I let my teacher-self roam free in a desperate attempt to organize this mountain of medical-dome that has come crashing down into my life. There is a color-coded giant white board involved...and magnets..and stickies...and colored dry erase pens...and a meticulously organized shelf. Oh, lord, I have to post pictures. In all honesty, it felt AWESOME to force my color-coded teachery control all over this place. Side note: my friend Nick would be horrified at the number of sharps I have to have handy now...yowza.

Other than the remaining Golden Girl trippin' up my game, I've been feeling really awesome since being discharged. Mostly because I'm all healed up and also because the mastodon steroids that I'm on make me feel like a million bucks (except for your nonsense, Betty). ATC appointments were smartly moved to noon (sleepin' in AND drinkin' coffee time!!) and I've been having a fucking glorious time getting dolled up name is Laura and I have become a shopaholic (Forever21 should pay ME now).

Oh, and my appetite is INSANE. Like, I woke up at 2:45am the other night and ate an entire box of Cheeze-itz, insane. Last night I inhaled Thai food, as in LOTS OF THAI FOOD (this was damn good Thai too...and now I'm thinking about that leftover curry....)and then washed it down with french fries. FRENCH FRIES. This morning Mom made me pancakes that I covered in Nutella and bananas. GAH, Who am I? A prednisone monster, that's who I am. Wanna hear the goofiest part about it? I've lost weight. I know, you should hate me. No moon face or bloat (been there, done that, my BFFs bridal shower pictures bare the evidence)  Apparently it has something to do with having high blood sugar as well but ya know what, it's kinda funny. The only bummer really is that the steroids have literally made the muscles in my legs melt away. Melt. Away. In just a few days. My legs are all scrawny and the muscle mass I spend months (nay! years!) putting there is nearly gone...and I can feel it.  Like I can feel that there isn't power there anymore. My calves are weak, my quads have shrunk, my ass is no longer a rockin' toned ass (ok, may be over exaggerating the before picture...), but it's noticeable. My arms have weakened a bit too which resulted in one hell of a determined half hour of putting up a new (pink, duh) shower curtain and a lot of cursing. The leg muscle thing  makes my knees hurt, which haven't hurt in years since I began working on strengthening my legs, so yesterday Mom and I schlepped over to a runner's store and got me some new kicks so I can go to the gym at the apartment complex and do weights and resistance and not be a veal ass. I find shopping in a mask, gloves, CVC hanging out and wig (yes!!! I was wearing a wig, I really will post pictures) highly amusing. Especially when I accidentally wear a low cut shirt too...that poor sales clerk did not know what to do with himself. Bless his heart (and my rack;) ).

But mostly, everything is super cool down here, the weather is gorgeous, that damn GVHD is almost completely gone, I don't think my liver is going to fall out today (yay!) and I'm really excited to see one Mr. John Sellman tomorrow morning:)

The last few weeks have been a whirlwind, I feel like I lost nearly the whole month of September, and there are many Thank You's that are long overdue to many of you out there. Please know that your gifts and kindness were recieved and that I am so thankful and grateful, but that I also wish to extend a proper thank you to you as well. Proper, heartfelt thank yous are forthcoming:)

Hoping for more kick ass news in the next couple of days (and the disappearance of one Ms. Betty White- seriously, if you're reading this, STEP OFF BITCH) and also to SEEING PHIL ON FRIDAY!!! :) XOXOXOXOXO. Also thinking of hoping on Ustream again this week to touch base, and do some goofing around.

Heard that Haverford Township Day was awesome, and that this weekend was the first of Justicia's Align and Flow, hoping all who participated in..all..had a wonderful weekend:)  BTW Philly folks, how are those trees looking? God I miss all of you so much. Much Love and gratitude and someone tell Betty White to fuck off. <3


  1. hahaha, hahahah, hahaha! i haven't laughed this heartily in a while! betty white? hahahahaa! too damn funny! and the pic is killing me, each time i look, i seriously laugh out loud. anyway. i am so happy you are seeing john tomorrow,.... i'm a bit jealous of the visit, i'll admit, but i'm trying to rise above the jealousy right now. you do have a good week in store, between PHIL and your good news coming.... hey, about those muscles. really? or are you exaggerating. cause you have a way of making a story so damn funny, i'm having a hard time believing you on this. "veal ass" - (great term, btw) ok, well, sorry. but its funny the way you put it. excellent blogging, my friend. xoxox i love and miss you. COME BACK.

  2. Laura: Better Betty White than Chucky!!! It good to hear you sounding so "up". Sounds like you will be giving the treadmill a workout. Perhaps it will help pass the time until Phil gets there. Love you, Nan

  3. Laura, glad to hear your good news! Every time I hear about Betty White I have to laugh because it reminds me of the day I came across an old playing card of her in an antique store of her yes, (nude). It forever shattered my "squeaky clean" image of her, but I didn't care, I never much liked her anyways and found it quite amusing! Google "Nudie Cutie" for a chuckle! Enjoy!

  4. I agree with Nan - better Betty than Chucky for sure! Laura, your attitude is great and contageous. Thank you for sharing your journey to forever remission with us. It makes my heart smile! Have a great weekend with Phil. xoxo Liz F.